Sequins

Think sequins are fun? So did I... until I tried to sew with them. They are a nightmare. There must be some trick I haven't figured out yet, like, I dunno, avoiding them entirely. I'm going to be leaking sequins like a tinkerbell all over the place at the square dance tonight. Sorry clean up crew!

M@rth@ Stew@rt's Livingdead

Hallow's eve, 9.23 pm on railroad & holly, bellingham, washington, homemakers (oven asphyxiated) are free to roam in the open air, to lock and pop all rigor mortis ligaments on the street corner dance scene. (And boo-yah to all you Thriller wannabes, more or less.)

b-boys b-ware!

As expected, the mash-up dj at the rogue turned out to be pretty good. I told him so right before we walked out after less than an hour of his set. Why 'd we leave so soon? Because the crowd sucked worse than a indie rock posture party. We got about an hour early for our dance troop meeting (bars are a great place to focus) and by the time the dj started we had already polished off our first pitcher. During this time we had noticed some break dancers warming up, stretching, trying out some head spins with their shiny black helmet. I took it as a good sign. Not that I think break dancers make good dancers, but that there might be something worth while at the rogue besides the beer. The music starts, the b-boys do some stunts, and nobody's dancing except Richard and me. People just play pool and give us looks. At one point Richard and I battled the b-boys. For show and effect the b-boys totally won, but they had no rhythm. I wish I had my girls with me! Where was Peach and Debbie Dinner? We could have totally showed up those chumps! I did pull some random innocent bystander by the hand and lead them to the dance floor, but it didn't really work so well. I've never ballroomed battle style, but I could make it work, just you wait.

We walked out of there shortly after some blondie told me I had no ass. I said to her "Lets see what you've got" motioning to the floor. Then she signed to me that I had bad breath by waving her hand past her nose. Whatever lady. Your not even cool enough to read this blog, so shove it. I sat down in her seat and reached for her drink. Her friend said to me "your not that bad". I took a tug and said "It's empty."

We then rode to rumors, walked in, and were met by the most enthusiastic dance floor in Bellingham.

Hey, it's Orange. I'll begin with my flight to Boston on which I discovered in the seat pocket in front of me a celebrity gossip magazine, I learned that Sarah Palin's daughter-with-baby stole her best friend's boyfriend (former bestfriend says baby's father always wore a condom with her!), Britney's Spears has reuninited with family after being angry with mom for writing a tell all book about Britney's life, and Angelina/Brad have the messiest multimillion dollar mansion ever (old food crusted everywhere!). Quinn picked me up in Boston and we spent the next 3 days walking around, eating fancy pastries and observing Hempfest from afar blasting death metal in downtown Boston with Quinn's girlfriend Yevonne (sp?). Quinn says she misses everyone and is awaiting more visits from Snac Lodge and friends. Then I took the Chinatown bus to NYC and to Ben Haber's house. Ben was applying for radio jobs and then headed down to the Radical Fairies Gathering in Tennesee in a few days and he took me out to his favorite gay bar where we met Aimee Jennings and failed to sing kareoke because we were too busy chatting. I took another Chinatown bus to DC the next day. I stayed at Sydney and Rainer's house (my aunt and uncle.) They were moving the shorter (6'7") of their two sons into a townhouse nearby with his 5' tall girlfriend. I visited grandmother Margie the next day down in Richmond at her retirement home. She had been waiting for me all morning and was quite delighted to have visiters but didn't really remember who I was. We went to a performance of old songs by two men playing the fiddle and guitar. Margie and the other elder ladies in attendence, most of whom cannot remember what happened an hour ago, knew all the words to the songs and happily sang along for an hour or two. Sydney and I dozed off in the back. Meanwhile a tropical storm had blown in and was fiercely raining and blowing outside. On the two hour drive back to Sydneys house we saw 4 cars that had driven off the road. I met Mike in DC the next day to begin the wedding festivities of his fraternity brother. We attended a walking tour of Georgetown with a guide who showed us famous people's houses including where Julia Child once lived when she worked for the organization that preceeded the FBI, before becoming Americas's favorite housewife chef. Her kitchen can now be viewed at the Smithsonian Museum of American History. We ate lots of excellent food at the rehersal dinner, then more the next day at the noon sandwhich and football party and again at the actual wedding reception interspersed with dancing and speeches. The reception was conducted like a celebrity awards show complete with obnoxious overbearing DJ and grandly announced entrances. There was a candy bar out front so guest's could fill up take out boxes with an assortment of m&ms, jellybeans, taffy, butterfingers, toffee and mints for futher enjoyment on the way home. After a wedding brunch the next day, Mike and I toured about the sights including the Natural History Museum, the American Indian Musuem and a host of monuments my favorite being FDR's who had a surprising lot of great things to say, which were etched in stone amongst water features. The following day we went to Maria Cantwell's office to request a tour of the Capitol building. I've got to go now, more to follow...

Ditties and Dungeon Shanties

It's a shame that when channeling Pepty Pinking, androgyne gnome, level 1 Bard, I can't acquire more of his/her natural grace, cadence, and dulcet voice, and yet am stuck with his/her fairly unimpressive intelligence modifier and, hence, extremely poor versifying. Take for example this Rat Battle Chant (Bard Song of Inspire Courage, +1 to Attack Bonus, +2 to Damage Rolls).

Pepty's chant seems to be attempting to inspire a hunger for rat meat, therefore, filling the dungeon-adventurer party (Talken Tume, Level 1 dwarf cleric; Schwintia, level 1 elf barbarian; Maurice, level 1 elf wizard; Frado, level 1 human fighter; and Shocky the Shock Lizard, 'nuff said) with the nerve to skewer the dire rats they're currently battling with their various piercing-damage weapons. I mean "rat-attouie." Maybe there are no multiplex theaters in the Forgotten Realms, but references to middling post-golden age Disney films are kind of pathetic and sad.

Maybe Pepty's not on it's game today . . . . we'll see about next time. Pepty, as a bard, can only sing the Inspire Courage song once a day, and so is currently humming and scatting away until the time comes to chant some more relevant rhymes. Will this day ever end? (That last 42 second battle, comprising 7 combat rounds, went on for like four hours in the Remembered Realms of the Character Players!)
Our adventurers are here.

Dungeon Master Vanessa, behind Panoramic Battle Screen.

Talken Tume's Character-Player table-talks some strategy with Pepty Pinking's Character-Player.


A Size:Colossal dungeon monster (dire marmot) makes its Attack and Damage rolls.

Frado (human fighter, level 1) takes on colossal dire marmot in full battle grid scenario